Programming Jokes

Two bytes meet.  The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”  
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

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How many programmers dose it take to change a light bulb?
None – It’s a hardware problem

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Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? 
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

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“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”

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Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

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A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air.  His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack?  Smoking is hazardous to your health!” 

To which the man replies, “I am a programmer.  We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”

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Have you heard about the new Cray super computer?  It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.

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The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance

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Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”

The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”

“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”